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Archive for the tag “Slate”

Emily Dickinson might have a sex tape!

Are you one of those who thinks 19th century American poet Emily Dickinson spent her time alone in her father’s house in Amherst, Mass? That she never even kissed a boy and probably lay in bed at night pretending to french her pillow? Ha!

Christopher Benfey at Slate argues that “spinster” Emily had several gentleman callers in her lifetime. And one of them was a judge her father’s age!

Benfey cites evidence from stuffy scholarly journals proving Emily was engaged while she was in college. She even – gasp! – entertained men at home. Her poetry certainly brimmed with longing and love, but for whom? Who inspired lusty lines such as these:

Wild nights! Wild nights!
Were I with thee,
Wild nights should be
Our luxury!
Futile the winds
To a heart in port,
Done with the compass,
Done with the chart.

Rowing in Eden!
Ah! the sea!
Might I but moor
To-night in thee!

Was it the judge? The college beau? Whoever he was, he inspired some of America’s most potent poems about love and lust. Isn’t it interesting to know that Emily wasn’t just pretending?

Diagramming Palin’s sentences

If you haven’t read it it, Kitty Burns Florey at Salon has written a delightful piece about the convoluted manner in which Sarah Palin speaks.

Burns Florey makes the case that “No one but a Republican denial specialist could argue with the fact that Sarah Palin’s recent TV appearances have scaled the heights of inanity.”

The author cites several clear statements made by leaders, for example:

“I have a dream.”

“I am not a crook.”

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”

True or not, those statements are clear. But, what, pray tell, does Palin mean when she makes statements like this to Katie Couric:

“It’s very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where—where do they go?”

Burns Florey attempts to diagram it, with some success though its meaning is still non-existant:

Other Palin statements literally go nowhere, like when she told Charlie Gibson this:

“I know that John McCain will do that and I, as his vice president, families we are blessed with that vote of the American people and are elected to serve and are sworn in on January 20, that will be our top priority is to defend the American people.”

Burns Florey gives the diagramming a shot, but it’s no use:

Burns Florey proposes that world leaders, more so than the rest of us, must have the ability to think quickly and clearly especially in times of crisis. (There are no 3 X 5 card in life.) Can Palin do it? Burns Florey concludes that Palin certainly thinks a lot but the quality of that thinking is

‘Slate’ asks: when did voting become like dating?

The kids at Slate want to know "When did voting become like dating?" and further, when did it become like dating yourself?

Seriously. When did our country start voting for the guy you could “picture yourself having a beer with”? That was one of the questions in a 2000 poll that found George W. Bush way ahead of Al Gore. So a bunch of good ol’ boys and girls voted for an imbecile because he seemed like “one of them.”

Al Gore, outwardly, might have been a robotoic nerd, but he was smart. I torture myself daydreaming about what my life, the life of the country, and the free world would be like today if Gore had been elected (or, should I say, if he were allowed to serve, since we did elect him.)

If only Al had slapped his knee, guffawed, and spit chewin’ tobacky, he might have convinced the American people he was just like them.

I don’t want a president like me. I’m a moron. I want a real smarty pants in the Oval Office who will make intelligent decisions.

I’ve had eight years of a “regular Joe” in the office (a regular Joe, by the way, who’s from one of the richest families this country has ever seen, whose dad was the Vice President and the head of the C.I.A., and whose brother was the governor of the state that flubbed the election in his favor.)

Haven’t we learned to look at people like Sarah Palin and understand that though she may be charismatic and attractive, she’s not at all qualified to LEAD THE FREE WORLD?

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