Gina Vivinetto’s Greatest Hits

Stars With Shopping Carts

What? Can it be? Yes, kids, today marks the triumphant return of Stars With Shopping Carts, a fan favorite here at Gina Vivinetto’s Greatest Hits. We haven’t done a Stars With Shopping Carts feature since early 2009 — because, quite frankly, this blog was on hiatus the entire time I was in grad school.

So today’s Stars With Shopping Carts has to be a doozie, right? Oh, and it is! The theme: couples counseling. These folks either need it, are inevitably going to need it, or, they’ve missed the boat altogether. Ready?

If you saw their joint interview recently with Joy Behar, you know KISS’s Gene Simmons and longtime lady love/baby mama Shannon Tweed are in trouble. Tweed stormed off the set mid-interview! Still, gotta eat:

Ladies and gentlemen, Brad and Angie with two of their 16 children:

What could be said bout Anne Heche that she hasn’t already said herself to Barbara Walters? Here is Celestia with James Tupper, her Men In Trees co-star and beau. (Just to get you all up-to-speed: Heche left comedian Ellen DeGeneres to marry and have a baby with camera man Coley Lafoon — who was working for DeGeneres — then left Lafoon to be with Tupper.):

Nutty David Arquette is still technically married to Courteney Cox(-Arquette), but she, understandably, needs a break from his crazy ass. The two are currently separated. So here’s Deputy Dewey shopping solo with little Coco.

Lastly, Xtina. That’s right, the “Dirrty” girl herself Christina Aguilera threw in the towel last year on her five-year marriage to Jordan Bratman. We never could figure out a celebrity couple name for these two: AguilBrat? Bratlera? X-Jor? No matter now.

Which celebrity couple is the most doomed? Vote in the comments!

Need your fix of Stars With Shopping Carts? Find the entire series here.

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