Gina Vivinetto’s Greatest Hits

Chuck Norris for President of Texas

Action star Chuck Norris wrote a column stating if Texas ever seceded from the rest of the United States, he would like to be its president.

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Macho Chuck wrote:

“Anyone who has been around Texas for any length of time knows exactly what we’d do if the going got rough in America.”

In honor of President Chuck Norris, let’s share some of our favorite Chuck Norris jokes. I’ll start, you add.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn’t push himself up, he pushes the world down.

When women have sex with God, they scream “Chuck Norris!”

Now you add yours!

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3 thoughts on “Chuck Norris for President of Texas

  1. If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.

  2. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

    Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.

    (I’m ashamed and proud to be unable to stop myself from posting these)

  3. If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5. Chuck Norris has more money than you.

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